Chocolate Industry

The 10 best Australian snacks – sorted | Food

I can’t win with this list. Someone’s nose will be out of whack, so powerful are our connections to the snacks that form the foundations of our childhood.

With that in mind, I decided to go as far as possible towards brutal honesty, feelings be damned. Here are the 10 best snacks adopted by Australians.

11. Tim Tams

If you thought this absolute maquis snack was going to be #1 on this list, you’re dreaming. The Tim Tam is Australia’s most basic snack, and yes, I mean that as an insult.

Coveted for God knows what, this mediocrity sits here for two reasons: one, because if I don’t put it here, the comments section will explode, and two, because putting it here outside the bounds of the list is deeply fun, and goes guarantee the comments section will explode. When it comes to hedonism, this inferior cookie is the equivalent of a sexy fireman’s calendar and a bath surrounded by scented candles. May he burn in the pits of mediocrity forever.

If you’re still reading and haven’t logged out because this one touched too many nerves, welcome. Here begins the real list.

10. Double dip

Double Dip is a convenience store staple and remains to this day. Why? Behold: the illusion of choice. Do you eat the orange sorbet? Do you eat the cherry sorbet? Or do you crash the system and eat the very tool used to scoop and eat the sherbet? Ahh. But the makers of Double Dip know the awful truth: you’ll end up eating it all. It’s like Matrix, if you take the blue pill AND the red pill. AND eat Morpheus.

9. Writer

The Tasmanian tiger of Australian junk food, the Scribbler was a block of ice sold by Streets in the 90s. It looked like a big pencil, with yellow for the wooden interior and a red coating. A chocolate ball was on top. There was something so illicit about swallowing a giant pencil, but it was the block of ice and chocolate combination that really pushed the boat out here.

The streets have produced non-chocolate bastardy over the years, but we’re not fooled. The original Scribbler is so obscure that you can only find images like the one above. See? It’s almost mythical. Plus, being a kid who refused to pick up a pencil and do homework, but was only too happy to eat a pencil in full view of his parents? This is power, my friends.

8. Frozen Vovo

People regularly claim that the Iced Vovo was bigger. Pillow. And yet, when you buy them now, they are very small and very flat.

Now, after a lot of digging – and talking – it turns out that this is a typical case of the Mandela effect, where a lot of people get confused about one thing, perpetuate it , and years later, the fake thing replaced the real thing in their lives. heads. Enter this thread:

pic.twitter.com/9vUfwksSaW

— Dana Sibera (@NanoRaptor) May 21, 2021n","url":"https://twitter.com/NanoRaptor/status/1395884032886403074?s=20&t=Ym9VSKuQFaqgSscQchQPug","id":"1395884032886403074","hasMedia":false,"role":"inline","isThirdPartyTracking":false,"source":"Twitter","elementId":"c8109e39-5941-4e37-9fef-3f87ef769520"}}'>

Rewriting History #289. About 20 years ago, maybe a little more, maybe a little less, I photoshopped either this image or a similar image (I made other similar ones after the original) to show Australian Arnott’s Iced Vovos with marshmallows on them. I think it was in response to a friend- pic.twitter.com/9vUfwksSaW

—Dana Sibera (@NanoRaptor) May 21, 2021

See, it turns out there’s a good chance some old Photoshop work, mixed in with real memories, has convinced people that Iced Vovos is a chewy, marshmallow wonder. With all of that in mind, why is the Iced Vovo still so low on this list? Because we got screwed, that’s why. And someone has to pay. Why not the Iced Vovo?

7. Musk sticks

Musk is mainly used in perfumery. Why do we eat it? Why is it compressed into pink sticks and thrown into jars? Because we have fine palates here in Australia, that’s why. In a time when foodie pioneers are championed, sweet and savory mix, and florals make their way into cocktails, what’s so crazy about a musk-flavored lollipop? Nothing, what is it. Oh, and as any good proctologist will tell you, the soft ones are good, and avoid the hard and chalky ones at all costs.

6. Milo

Milo belongs to the periodic table. It is so paramount and fundamental to the firmament, the very foundation of Australian food culture, that including it on a junk food list is like including flour on a top 10 cakes list. How do you eat Milo? Do you pour then stir like crazy? Hot or cold? Do you drop three heaped tablespoons onto a glass of milk and try not to sneeze? Or do you eat it out of the box like a dirty wizard? No judgment here.

Milo’s website claims that the drink is named after “MILO® of Croton, a Greek wrestler who lived in the 6th century BC and possessed legendary strength”, which is very good. But beware of any company so powerful that it can literally trademark the name of a former Greek wrestler.

5. Bertie Beetle

Many products have been ousted from the annals of Australian snack history books, but just like insects, Bertie Beetle hid in the cracks and survived. Did you thrive? No. But escaping into the candy crawl space that is the discount showbag industry is an ingenious way to weather the storm. They’re pretty tasty, I guess, but it’s their quirky mascot that really makes them shine. Is Bertie Beetle a hero? A Vilain? Either way, he will outlive us all.

4. Tasty Toobs

You have to respect a snack that dies in the early years and then comes back due to public demand. Discontinued in 2001, growing pressure from Australians brought the Tasty Toob back in 2007. It took off again in 2015 and returned, hitting shelves in 2021. Tasty Toobs is the John Farnham of snacks. Jack smiling? No. Smiling SNACK… I’m going to show myself.

3. Rainbow Racket

“Actually it’s just caramel flavored” is the “actually it’s Frankenstein’s MONSTER” of the Australian ice cream world. Yes, dad, we know that rainbow paddlepop is flavored with caramel. Although… is it? Do you remember stepping out of the local pool, the hot pavement scorching your feet as you run into the shade of the gazebo to order a paddlepop? Do you remember staring at the swirling swirls of color, intoxicated with the possibilities? The sugar skyrockets directly into your young brain; the stick is sticky with melting ice. We don’t care. Caramel? It is not caramel that we hold in our hands. It’s the universe.

2. Polly Waffle

Dads love two things: having a good time and Pollywaffles. It may be because deep down, dads feel deeply misunderstood. Maybe they like an underdog. Maybe they’re running headlong toward a diagnosis of diabetes. Anyway, I bought and gave a Pollywaffle to three dads in my life. Each time they reacted as if I was the Lady of the Lake returning Excalibur to Arthur. Honestly, something weird is going on here, and who am I to put myself between a dad and his Polly? Nobody. Who is it.

1. The Agro cone

This is the most fundamental rule of economics: scarcity increases value. By this metric, the Agro Cone is incredibly valuable. Technically, the sugar content of many of the snacks on this list would virtually guarantee that they would survive the most nuclear winters. But the Agro cone? It was a moment in time. A cultural touchstone attached to a perpetually petulant puppet. It’s the food equivalent of Nikki Webster being taken down in the Olympic Stadium.

Of course, you can technically go order an Agro Cone from a Mister Whippy. Of course, you can technically knock on Nikki Webster’s door and ask her to play for you. But both had a brief, bright window outside of which, unless you’re there, you’ll never really understand what it was all about.